Since were told that charity begins at home, its better, I’ve always thought to give $1 million to a hapless person here on the street than give $10 to an organization that provides sandwiches for prisoners in turkey, now, however, it apparently starts in Cambodia.
Some people get all dewy-eyed about Africa. That’s all good but I don’t see the point because I fear that no matter how much money you pump in, the bejeweled pigs that run the place will pump it straight back out again, into the pockets of Kalashnikov and Mercedes Benz. The only thing id send in to the Dark Continent is a team of SAS Hit men to shoot the likes of Mr Mugabe in the Middle Of his face.
Others would say we have enough problems on our own shores without getting all teary over the children of Mr Pot. I Disagree, because these days, every time I think of Underprivileged people in Australia, the hideous face of one of my former School “acquaintance” pops in to my head, all greasy, fat and stupid and its hard to summon up any sympathy at all. Cambodia is different. It’s a country(Duh!) of 14 million people but between them they only have 5 million legs. In fact, there are 25,000 amputees, the highest ration per-capita of any country in the world. This is not because Cambodians are especially clumsy. It is because of landmines.
Nobody knows how many mines were laid during the endless cycle of warfare, but its sure in the millions what we do know is that since the Vietnamese invaded in 1979 and drove the madman Pol Pot into the Hills, 63,000 people have Trodden on one. One man had his left leg blown off Four times. They gave him good prosthetic after the first and second explosions, but since then he has had to make his own out of wood. And it’s still going on today. In most places in the world you can get three rice harvests per year from your paddy field. In Cambodia, its one. The is partly because of the Khmer like a weird sort of rice that’s header to grow, but mostly because its you set off with your plough and within minutes there is a big bang and your water buffalo has become a crimson mist.
You cant even give money to the Cambodian Government for help because I fear they would be extremely enthusiastic and then all the money sent would be spent on fixtures and fittings in the finance ministers next luxury hotel. This if I could raise any money in the first place. Its hard when money’s tight here and everyone else has their own pet project.
I suppose I could write to Ray-Ban asking it to design a cheap pair of Sunglasses that can be worn by someone who has no nose. But then it’d be better if I started work on some designs for the most brilliant mine clearing Vehicle in the world has ever seen. I’m thinking of strapping some Liberal Back Benchers together and then….
